Expect to Hear About Nipples (And Other Advice for Uncles)

I recently posted some helpful hints for my sisters in regards to taking care of their new babies.

I thought about it, and I realized that everyone gave them advice.  They were overloaded with advice from everyone they talked to, and certainly didn’t need any tips from me.

And then I thought about the fact that nobody gave me advice four years ago, before my first nephew was born.

To be fair, being an uncle certainly isn’t as hard as being a mother or father, but there are definitely some shocking truths that new uncles will need to face, and a little heads-up would have been nice.

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“Oversky” Words + Music Companion

If you haven’t watched it yet, check out the video below from my Youtube Channel:

First of all, sorry it is so depressing.  That’s my bad.

But just listen to “Oversky” with headphones. Hear the pedals of Luke Howard’s piano. Hear Nadje Noordhuis take a breath before she breathes life into her trumpet. It is a sound that, to me, is both relaxing and tragic – like a rainy night.

 

Lady, unhappy it is my birthday

The first time I heard this song, the scene that I saw in my head was that of a man driving his dog to the doctor to be put down. The image I saw in was him adjusting the rear-view mirror to get a better look at his dog, lying in the back seat. He’d think of all the memories they had together, and maybe stop at the beach on the way.
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Introducing Words + Music

I’ve been away for like, a really long time.  It is for a very good reason, I promise.

I’ve been tinkering with something new.  Something weird, kind of.

I call it “Words + Music.”  Basically, music videos with storytelling.  Just my words, given to you with the beat and rhythm of my favorite songs.

I could go on describing it, trying to define what it is, and that is exactly what I tried to do in my own head as I conceptualized it and thought about it for months, maybe years.  I finally manned up and just made it.

It feels good.  But I still don’t really know how to define it.

Anyway, just watch it.  And know that it is very different from what you will usually see here.  I highly recommend using headphones, especially with this track.  You might not be used to this type of music, but just go with it.  Lose yourself, if you’re able.

I have a few more of these ready to go.  But if you hate it, don’t worry — I have a few blog posts in the works as well.

And hey.  I missed you.

-Youngman Brown

 (Click link to travel to YouTube and watch it in high definition.  Then subscribe.)

 

Lies

 

I’m in the dark guest bedroom at my parents’ house, trying to fall asleep.  My old shitty laptop is lighting the room.  It doesn’t have Microsoft Word or an “N” key, so I am forced to write in Notepad, desperately missing the convenience of Autocorrect, especially with words that have an “N” in it, such as “Notepad” and “N.”

I might as well be writing blind with two broken arms.

The goal, I guess, is to slowly soften the glow of the screen by filling up the white Notebook canvas with black words until my thoughts are out there as opposed to in here.

See, the last thing I did before I opened up my laptop was lie to my girlfriend.

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Four Seconds

This all happened in four seconds.

The club is very crowded, very loud. The three of us are trying to leave to find our other friends outside. Navigating through a sea of people is hard enough, made even more difficult by the fact they are all dancing.

A girl gyrates in front of me, blocking me, and I lose my grip on Jess’s hand as she moves forward through the crowd. I glance back to see that Andy is still in tow.

Jess isn’t ahead of me by much, only a few feet. But it is enough space for the sharks to get the scent.

Prey.

A pretty girl by herself.

Ripe for the plucking, one guy thinks.

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Dog Poop Addendum

I know I just wrote (too much) about picking up dog poop, but something else came up that I felt like I needed to add.

My girlfriend got me a thing that you put on the end of the leash for poop bags.  Like a toilet paper dispenser, but for picking up dog crap.

Anyway, the bags it came with are thin.  Like, really thin.  So thin that I imagine it would float away if you let one go on a completely windless day.

Being so thin, when picking up fresh dog crap, I can totally feel the temperature and texture of the specimen more than I could with my old bags, as if the bag is not even there.

Just thought I’d share that with you guys.

Oh, and yes.  Yes, that is the way I just announced that I got a girlfriend.

-Youngman Brown

 

Ice Breakers

My friend Kaytlynn recently wrote about things that make her feel uncomfortable that totally shouldn’t, all of which I could completely relate*.

*Follow her blog.  If you like mine, you will love hers.

The first of those things was ice breakers.  You know, those “games” that bosses, trainers, or orientation leaders use to start a group session in order to get everyone relaxed and acquainted with one another.

Ice breakers aren’t too distressful for me.  My heart rate increases a bit as it nears my turn, but otherwise, I don’t fear saying a sentence or two in front of a group of strangers.

Most of my anxiety comes from listening to the other people.  I can’t stand watching someone crash and burn.

As a result, I find myself smiling in moral support as they sheepishly try to describe to the group their love for different types of shoes.
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Anonymous Unite!

Last month, one of my favorite bloggers, MOV, wrote a really great post.

After reading a really great post, I usually leave a comment, telling the blogger how much I enjoyed reading his or her post.  In this fashion, I scrolled to the bottom of the post and began typing words of praise.

But as I was writing, I noticed the last comment that had been left by an Anonymous user:

 

After reading this stirring comment, I looked at the words that I had begun to type, and realized that nothing I said could compare.  Clearly, this Anonymous user had a better understanding of MOV’s post than I ever would.
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