Yell “Free Money!”

At the poker tables, bad beat stories are often shared. In typical big-fish-story fashion, the details are often distorted, allowing the teller of the story appear to be the helpless victim of a complete buffoon who had “no business” being involved in the pot in the first place. In the narratives, the teller played perfectly while the maniac played like a fish. Lost coinflips become lost one-outers. Typically, the teller fails to mention key details such as the maniac having top pair to go along with his flush draw.
It hurts me to listen to these stories. Like, physically hurts. For one, it is mentally draining to dwell on bad beats. Players often complain, saying that nobody in the world runs as bad as they do. Among other things:

[x] Their opponent’s flush draw always gets there.
[x] Their opponent always hits their miracle two-outer to give them a set on the river.
[x] Their opponent manages to hit a gut-shot straight draw on the river.