You kinda have to read Part I first, if you haven’t already.
If you have ever seen ghost hunting shows such as “Ghost Adventures” (or “Ghost Douchebags” as my brother-in-law likes to call it), the chiseled toolbags occasionally capture an EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) in which, seemingly out of nowhere, a choppy mess of static is picked up on a voice recorder.
Being masters of spirit-world linguistics, they then translate the static into very convenient words of ghosts.
The EVPs are pretty cool, but are they really the voices of ghosts?
At first, it really does just sound like a jumble of static.
But then the D-bags put some words on the screen. They play the recording again. And again. And again. With the words in quotations.
After the third or fourth time, it truly does sound like a ghost is saying something intelligent.
And without fail, immediately afterward Zak asks the viewer something like “Is this the voice of a lost spirit searching for her murdered children?” This question is always posed in a tone that answers the question itself: “Hell yes it is.”
But it really just comes down to them putting a label on it. Once they say that this unknown spirit is saying “You must die!” or “Shoes for guys!” or “Poo can’t fly!” our brains lock into that and we can’t hear it any other way.
It’s all about connotation. It all has to do with what we see and what we are presented with when given certain evidence.
Just like jumbled static on a voice recorder can transform into the last will and testament of a ghost, so too can a video of a loud bullhorn transform into documentation of the Earth bemoaning its impending destruction. So long as the video is aptly titled something like “Groaning Earth Trumpets the Apocalypse” and includes some applicable quotes from Revelation.
* * *
The reason I wrote this post was not to debunk the Ghost Adventure’s D-Bags — that’s too easy.
Nor was it to show that these viral videos were a hoax.
My intention in writing this was to figure out why I had this unexplainable and vaguely morbid affection towards these Groaning Earth videos.
In writing this piece, I went back and watched some of the videos, knowing that they do not, in fact, represent the heralding of the apocalypse.
And I still wanted them to be real.
I realize that I might sound like a lunatic or a deranged freak in saying such things, but the truth is that despite what such a thing might represent, I want it to be real and I can’t figure out why.
I want to know what it is about me that is not only fascinated by the concept of the trumpeting of the end of the world, but is also curiously desirous of its existence.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want the world to end. Of that I am sure.
But the thought of stepping outside and hearing what is basically an auditory earthquake and knowing that it is essentially representing our two-minute warning?
It’s just… cool.
I don’t know.
Perhaps it is boredom. Perhaps something else.
Whatever it is, though, it is probably better for my own sanity that I am unable to put a label on it.
I am actually extremely interested in everyone’s thoughts on this topic, so if you have ever wanted to comment, now is the time to do it! First, what was your honest emotional response to seeing the videos for the first time? Did you share in any of my thoughts? And secondly, what do you think of the sounds now? Hoax? Some weird scientific phenomenon? Something else?
Also, apologies for such a gloomy post. This should help: