If you’ve read my blog before or know me in real life, you know that I am not much of a go-getter when it comes to hitting on girls or trying to get their phone numbers.  My quiet and seemingly unemotional persona caters to more of a love-him-once-you-get-to-know-him type of courting.  And I’m fine with that.

But that’s the problem — the fact that I’m fine with it.

Because the real world isn’t like college.

In college, a missed connection is simply the first step to a relationship.  The only piece of information needed is that the girl actually goes to the same school as you.  At that point, it is almost customary to not exchange information.  As a part of the courting process, it was better to leave them hanging… to let her become a little detective for the next week to find out about you (and you, her).  Then you would find out what party she was going to be at the next weekend, where you would make an appearance.

And if you didn’t see her then, you knew you would have countless opportunities throughout the year.

College was filled with second and third chances, and my type of personality thrived on such a scenario.

But in the real world, a missed connection is nothing more than a missed connection.  On a night out, it is a guarantee that I only have one shot to find a way to continue communication with a girl, and when I simply don’t try, the only thing I am left with is regret.

The regret of never knowing more about this girl, this person who was pretty or interesting enough to catch my eye.  The regret of never knowing if she was actually interested in me, too, and just waiting for me to approach her, since it is the guy’s duty.  The regret of never knowing if the two of us would hit it off on our first date, and maybe eventually turning into something more.

The regret of being a wimp.

It is something that I have been thinking about recently — all of those missed opportunities that can be called “missed” because of my hesitancy to be aggressive.  Or more accurately, because of my lack of courage.

And it was something that was at the forefront of my mind when I was at the Phillies game on Mother’s Day and a beautiful girl sat down next to me.

I was instantly determined to get her number, and I knew that I would have nine innings to do so.

But not only would I have to get over my typical insecurities, I would also have to get past the guy who just sat down to her right and handed her a beer.

Her date.

Oh, and I’d also have to work my “game” while under the close observation of the woman that I brought to the game, who was sitting to my left.

My mom.

Needless to say, this would be tricky.

Tune in tomorrow to find out what happened.

-Youngman Brown

0 thoughts on “On Picking Up Girls

  1. I can't tell you how many times I've been hit on, while out with another date. (Especially at weddings.) It's a tricky thing to pull off, without getting punched in the face. Having your mom there, wow. Can't wait to hear this. I'm really routing for you! And I'm hoping you got the number. 🙂

  2. I'm starting to think that it's a bad idea for me to read guy blogs. You all are so cute! Whether you intended to or not – you've succeeded in presenting yourself in the most attractive way ever lol. Nice work.

    I'm looking forward to the rest of the story.

  3. I've had my share of missed opportunities as well. That's why I got married…so I no longer have to try!

    Can't wait to see how this one turns out!

  4. I have to wait until tomorrow to see how this ends? Man, I can't wait. This takes some real balls even to attempt. I'm rooting for you. You know, so long as the girl is just his “date,” and not his “wife.”

  5. I'll tell you right now that any time a guy hits on me when I'm obviously with a date, I immediately think he's a creep. It happens way more often than it should.

  6. I always found the best way to pick up girls is to lift with your legs, not your back. *buh dum tshhh*

    But, I am horrible at picking up girls, the only girls I've been with always initiated the conversations. That's my problem, initiating the interaction.

    Can't wait for the conclusion.

  7. I'm not sure if I ever picked up girls back in my single days. I think they picked me up. Miss-Matic certainly did. It took her a couple of tries, because I didn't even notice what she was doing. I'm stupid like that.

  8. You're just trying to get all the women to tell you how cute you are (yes), how talented you are (yes) and how funny you are (yes), you little sneak and a tease once again for the cliffhanger too. I would normally agree about the hitting on someone while on a date being a creep but I have been known to be really attracted to someone while on a “just friends” kind of date. Hopefully, you were slick about it though, lol. One-night stands are fun too..just sayin.

    Oh yes,
    You lose…
    xoxo Shiels

  9. This makes me laugh. It seems like there are tons of women who read your blog who would love for you hit on them, yet in real life you don't have courage. You can do it Mr. Brown!

    Looking forward to the exciting conclusion 🙂

  10. I can't wait to hear how this ends!! I think that a lot of guys are shy when it comes to approaching a girl. As a result, a lot of women are stepping up to the plate and approaching the men. Then we're thought of as “aggressive”. Maybe we should just all go back to college??? lol

    Just tell them one of the stories from your blog, and you're set! You make me laugh every time 🙂

  11. I have this wackjob theory that nice guys never make the first move. Ideally girls need to give them that little hint that they're interested. I don't know why its expected for guys to play mind-reader and try and figure out the whole thing themselves

  12. Crack you is obviously too young to remember that Jenny was 867, not 567….

    Having never met you, but a fair amount of interaction over email, you just don't seem the hit on a girl type. And that isn't a bad thing. Some girl that you know is going to be wise enough to take you off the market.

    We watched “We Bought a Zoo” and even though it isn't faithful to the real story, there is a concept of 20 seconds of courage. I suck at it as well and like Ash-Matic, my wife picked me up and I almost missed it. (I also didn't kiss her on our first date and I think that challenged her.)

    Can't wait to hear how it ended.

  13. I was never a go getter either. On my blog, I am a little more bold. I started dating Red because I proposed to her on her blog. Putting yourself out there pays off sometimes.

  14. I definitely agree, which is why it was difficult for me… though I think that I had a green light in this situation.

    As green as green lights go for these scenarios, at least.

  15. I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, and expect another one today. I figure that is better than posting one epically long post on Monday and being all written-out for the rest of the week.

  16. I am literally fizzing at the bung over here to find out what happened!! Seriously my brother, learn an instrument & join a band. You don't need no swagger to score the chicks if you play in a band.

  17. I can relate to much of this post. Even the opportunities passing by. And being things happened at a Phillies game, I need to now read the next post…

  18. Youngman, I feel your pain. I've never been much of a ladies man (I've had my rare moments) and have let a few moments pass me by that makes me wonder “what if.”

    One of those moments happened with my now ex-wife. We went to high school together, and I always admired her from afar. She was rich, I was dirt poor. She had beauty beyond comparison (in my mind at the time), and I was average at best.

    Eventually I got the courage and I set down a wrote a 2 pages letter expressing my feelings for her (god knows I could have never approached her and told her those things in person). I followed that up with a series of poetry and eventually we started dating, which led to marriage and 2 beautiful daughters.

    In the end it didn't work out between us, but I have two awesome children and many years of fond memories to fall back on.

    Luckily, everything worked out for the best. I'm current involved with the love of my life. She is beautiful person inside and out, and I'm lucky to have her in my life.

    So my advice to you (easier said than done), is to go for it! Cease any and all opportunities that present themselves in life. Life is too short to let it pass you by. The lesson I learned is, if you are true to yourself and honest with yourself, everything will work out for the best in the end.

    Best of luck to you Youngman Brown.

    Michael A. Walker
    Defying Procrastination

  19. Having just come from Dude of the House's post on what constitutes a dude I must say you're a classy dude and out there somewhere is the dudette to match your dudeness. As they say in India “Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end.” 🙂

  20. If you are not the picking up type, trying with your mum around is not just jumping in the deep end, but jumping into the deep in sharks and you have a skinned knee.

    You would get high fives for life if you pulled that off

  21. Just read the follow up articles, bad end to the season. Still a good read and I am now late for meeting up with friends.

    You may not get high fives for life now, but you still qualify for high fives for the entire month of July.

    And maybe August. Depends if you can get your mum to be wingman again.

  22. Welcome to the club man, the non-aggressive nice guys club. Where do we get to read the ending, I couldn't find it? Can't just leave us hanging like that!

  23. Welcome to the club man – the non-aggressive nice guys club. Where do we read the ending, couldn't find it on my own? You can't just leave us hanging like that, not cool!

  24. Sorry for the late chiming in…vacation and all that. Anyway…I think that what you go through is pretty normal. I have times where I wish I'd not waited for the guy and just done for it. We all live with things like that. I don't know…knowing the Phillies story and the one from the bachelor party (I won't give out any spoilers) I think that you are certainly on your way to rectifying the shyness. 🙂

  25. Ugh…Blogger ate my comment.

    Just wanted to say that I think a lot of men (and women) relate to this feeling BUT knowing the Phillies story…and the bachelor party tail (which I won't spoil) I think you are well on your way to rectifying your shyness. 🙂

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