One of my New Years resolutions was to try to be happier.
People always tell me that I am “so serious” or ask “what is wrong.” Such speculations bug me, because most of the time nothing is wrong at all and I am actually quite happy. I suppose that it is years of playing poker professionally that has forced my face into a constant serious expression, void of emotional indications of happiness. So while I am not sad or angry, I understand that the general assumption from people who don’t know me is that I am.
In general, I would say that I am not sad, but also not overly happy. Like everyone else, I am prone to bouts of melancholy. But I am also just as disposed to attacks of pure happiness. Most of the time, however, I am just leveled out.
In short, I am normal.
But if I am to be completely honest with myself, I suppose that this winter was a bit depressing. Aside from the fact that I am essentially starting a new career and dealing (no pun intended*) with the drama that goes along with it, I also have been living by myself in a fairly desolate town, so my human interaction has been almost exclusively limited to the depressed degenerates who like to place the blame of their bad run of cards on me.