A Single Guy’s Cynical Valentine’s Day Poem

[I]
Among other things,
Condom sales reach their peak
Around Valentine’s Day.
…so have fun with that. 🙁
[II]
Have fun?  Great!  Because
March is the highest grossing month
For at-home pregnancy tests.
So have fun with that 🙂
[III]
Oh, and on Valentine’s Day, 1929,
Penicillin was introduced
To cure you of your syphilis.
Try to have fun with that! <3

-Youngman Brown

 

How to Confuse Strangers (A Poem)

[I]
Approach someone random,
Act panicked (not insane), say
“Excuse me!” – catch your breath,
“But what year is it?”
[II]
Jubilation or horror
Are two options;
Either way, the stranger’s
Response must shock you.
[III]
Stare in awe at the sky
As you run away.
Make sure to jump back
At the first car you see.
-Youngman Brown